"Falling" in Love

In honor of whatever the heck #mancandymonday is...I have opted to fully divulge my opinions on "falling" in love.   But first I must totally disclose how I met my man candy.  

Early in 2004, my girlfriends and I were at the one of the ONLY two bars in our small town.  Notorious for "booty calls only." We, however, still believed in going out with the girls, dancing, sweating, giggling, and maybe-just maybe we would happen to fall into the arms of some Prince Charming while catching the "always drinks too much" friend from falling face first into the dance floor (probably with her panties hanging all out-unless it was the night she went commando).  You know who she is. 

So up walked this handsome buff (short) black man.  He completely ignored my presence at first, because let's be honest-we know what I looked like.  He goes after the sexy Filipino friend.  She (lucky for me) shuts him down.  The night ends and off we go in our separate directions.  But like I said earlier, our town was very small.  So I saw him at the mall, at Wal-Mart, the bar, etc.  We had short amounts of narrative between us for at least 10 months.  So my 24th birthday comes and my girlfriends and I decide after dinner to head out and go dancing!  I was dressed as well as I could be at the time. Isn't it funny you can remember exactly what you were wearing when "it" happened? I was wearing blue jeans, tall black leather hooker boots over the jeans (it was very sheek in 2004), with a very low cut black satin v-neck blouse.  He was wearing blue jeans, red and white sneakers, and a red polo shirt (and these god-awful glasses-that's a story for another time).  We said hey-the little flirty what you been up to back and forth, and then we danced!  I had probably drank more than any other twenty-four year old on her birthday should have. I did the unthinkable-I asked him back to my place.  After "talking" into the wee morning hours, we slept.  I woke, realized I was supposed to be at church (SORRY JESUS-I know I've been forgiven for this coitus on the first night).  So I left him a note saying I enjoyed his company and he should call me.  (OKAY I know what you are thinking, I knew him-I knew he wasn't a thief.)  I went about my day, I honestly never thought he would call me.  But same day-he did.  We started seeing each other that week and it became official about 2 months later.  We moved in with each other 5 months after that.  Were married and pregnant a little more than a year later.  So contrary to ANYTHING in this world that says your soul mate can be your booty call gone wrong-it happened to us.  (Not that I recommend this route to anyone-ever.)  If you know me, you know this was never the type of person I was!  I was what my family referred to as the Virgin Mary for a year after I had my first child! 

So YES I fell.  I fell HARD.  I had only dated 3 men prior to my husband.   I was the person in a relationship that always found something wrong so I wouldn't have to worry about breaking up, or what came next.  It wasn't me.  UNTIL NOW.  Now I understand the term.  Falling means that its uncontrollable, unpredictable, irreversible, 100% risk, and you have to be vulnerable.  Who thinks of these things during that first 60 seconds of joy, lust, wonder...?  I didn't.  I had never felt jealously until I met him.  I had never laughed like he can make me laugh.  I had never smiled and flirted like I can with my husband.  I had never felt physical heartbreak and pain like I have with my husband.  The honesty between us is borderline psychotic.  We can read each others minds!  If you have never felt this physical pain in your heart like its being ripped from your chest---maybe you haven't experienced real love.  Finding someone in this life that completes you, that makes you better, makes the dream life a reality, and makes you feel like a piece of you is missing when they are not near...congratulations.  This is love.  You have not only experienced the "falling," you survived it.  

That one night with my husband changed the entire course of my life.  I know exactly where I would be if I hadn't met and married him.  And let me tell you...it ain't pretty.  The life that the Lord has blessed my husband and I with is probably the life furthest from the one we ever imagined.  And for that I say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU LORD!   Jason and I were headed down paths in life that would have hurt us, harmed us, defined us, and broke us.  There is a reason that relationships end.  Maybe it wasn't the one worth crying over just yet.  Just be patient, your soul-mate is still out there.  For whatever reason we were paired...I'm grateful.  

Today, we have a blessed and vividly beautiful life.  We have three children that are amazing, smart, hilarious and most importantly...ours.  My husband is currently on a remote tour to Honduras for one year and I miss him tremendously.   If you haven't met him...you are missing out!  Anyone who has met him will tell you how humble, real, and selfless he is.  This is for you JJ.  I love and miss you to the ends of the Earth and back. MUAH! XOXOXO

Later Chickees, and once again-thanks for reading!

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